by Claudette Gadsden-Hrobak
Do you find that you hold your tongue more than you speak your truth? My mother told me that she was not a mind reader so I needed to say what was on my mind and ask for what I wanted. I did that. Then as a young adult, my grandmother would pat my knee and say, “Hush, baby, just hush.” I did that. In my early 30s my uncle said, “We know the truth hurts sometimes, but we can make it hurt less.” That statement gave me cause to pause.
My mother wanted me to learn to speak my truth before the world tried to silence my voice. Since my mother is deceased, I cannot question her motive or validate my theory. I believe it was more important to her that I spoke my truth rather than please the ear of the listener. My grandmother decided that I knew how to speak my truth now it was time to learn when to be quiet. I thought if the words were on my tongue, they should be spoken. My grandmother said no.
Years later, my uncle determined that I had not gotten the message so he shared his version of the lesson. There is a time to speak and a time to be quiet. That part I got already. He then went on to say, “Always speak your truth – just know how and when.”
After putting all three conversations together, I finally got the big picture.
You can speak your truth to yourself and to others, just do it with love. Let’s start by admitting your true feelings to yourself. When you can admit your true feelings to yourself, it is easier to admit your true feelings to another. So get a piece of paper and start writing. I’ll wait. Now that you have done that, how does it make you feel? Liberated? Giddy?
If you are not happy with a situation, an event or a relationship, speak your truth. If you are happy with a situation, an event or a relationship, speak your truth. I simply ask that you speak your truth with love. Why would someone else’s feelings be more important than your own? If something is bothering you and you accept it without saying anything, you are putting someone else and their feelings ahead of you and your feelings. Where is the joy in that?
Does fear of disapproval cause you to bite your tongue? You have the freedom of speech like everyone else; so don’t worry how people will react. Never let someone else’s opinion of you become your opinion of yourself. Speak your truth. Do you have a past experience of being reprimanded for speaking up or intimidated when trying to speak up? Look the person in the eyes and say what you have to say. Remain calm, speak clearly and do not raise your voice. If your voice starts to shake, take a deep breath and keep speaking your truth.
Truthfully and lovingly express your thoughts and feelings. Let your voice be heard.
Speak your truth!